Sometimes....

Sometimes things don't happen..plans don't work out..anticipation fails you..excitement dies down..you are disappointed and hurt..given up, and still hanging in..sometimes it takes a while and a lot of efforts for dreams to come true...and its still ok.

Sometimes you want to stop proving your sanity...act impulsive and random...and careless...wish upon stars and be damn sure its going to come true..believe in tooth fairy and cupid...sometimes you want to yell at the world for all that went wrong and laugh at destiny...sometimes you want to cry your heart out...but you can't..and its still ok.

Sometimes you want to just dive in..deep into your soul and just listen to your silence...you want to love yourself more than you expect anyone to...sometimes you want roses, without thorns...sometimes you want it all, without a bargain..sometimes you want to prove the world wrong and give a sheepish grin...and it may take while..and its still ok.

Sometimes all you really need is a hand to hold and a heart that understands...and they are both missing..and its till ok.

Sometimes...its just ok to BE. Its OK.

 

 

 

Therapy for co-existence!!

I just recently completed a First level course in Cranio-Sacral Therapy with Dr. Bente Skovborg at the Art of living international centre, Bangalore.  I am not a medical professional nor do I have much knowledge in the field of human anatomy…but having seeing my loved ones in pain and feeling helpless about it, I have always had a desire to heal people, to help them get rid them of at least their physical pains and problems. With this intention and deepest desire, I approached Pujya Gurudev, for the first time in my life with a direct request, to do this course, HE obviously readily agreed and blessed me with the Prasad!  (I actually had a conversation with HIM!!..i still don’t know how!). After I got back from the ashram, I started my preparation with online studies and exams on various topics related to Human Anatomy and Physiology. Though I did score amazingly well (97.8%) in the exam, I was still too skeptical about putting this knowledge to practical use due to absolute lack of experience, and with a threat and fear of almost 80% medical professionals in the course starring at my silliness, I got all geared (swearing on Gurudev’s blessings, each moment I doubted myself) to take the plunge.

The entire journey through those 6 days was completely spiritual for me..though I did get petrified at times, when I heard those highly complex, tongue twisting names of muscle and illnesses from the highly knowledgeable classmates with medical backgrounds..but luckily I had company! A few more from the non-medical backgrounds giving blank stares to each other, like myself were a relief and complete fun to be with! By the end of those 6 days, we were all one big family in complete awe of the miraculously complex working of the Human body. All knowledge and ignorance was lost in the wonder of words Dr.Bente used to explain how just a finger, a touch or a stroke can have an impact on the complex physiological functions. It was so spiritual to know how each cell in the body understands and interprets the Human touch. Now that I am back, and practicing what I have learnt and I am able to make a difference to the quality of life of my friends and family all I can think of is the way in which the innumerable tiny cells, each one different from the other, work in our body each moment, in complete harmony and synchronization to get us through the day, healthily.

Unfortunately the scene outside our bodies, out in the world is not so similar. Do you know there are more than 50 trillion cells in your body, all working together, enabling you to read this sentence?!
Your cells don’t argue. They don’t question how things work. And they don’t engage in a debate about who’s smarter or more efficient. They just align together in beautiful harmony to allow the machine called “your body” to function at its highest possible level at any given moment. When the creator created Mankind he wanted this harmonious interplay in our outer world, too. Just like the cells putting in their complete effort to play their part well, we too needed to do just that! But...this it did not happen… Our differences were meant to be complimentary, instead they got contradictory. We were meant to work in harmony with Mother Nature and enjoy the creation...instead we began abusing the divine wonder play.  I am not looking for complete perfection, just a little less abuse, and some respect for the universe., for the flora and fauna, the diversity in cultures, the difference in people’s perception and lifestyles. I am simply looking for a globally, colorful and diverse symphony of mutually dependent inhabitants of planet Earth! Different from each other, yet together and happy!! And because we were created with that idealism in mind,  just pure intention and a few genuine steps..and the consciousness will conspire it to happen.

Every day our creative group of thoughts, words, actions, and feelings are working in Divine harmony with the energy of the Universe to create our lives.  By focusing our energy in a positive way, we are far more likely to generate good experiences. It’s that simple.. :) now that u don't need to be perfect, u just need to be you!

NOW..is when I begin.. Just NOW!

NOW..is when I begin.. Just NOW!

Its been 10 years on this spiritual journey with dearest Guruji now. Unlike a lot devotees it took me a while (one whole year!) to realize that HE is my true calling, I belong to HIM. But, my highly analytical (?) and logical(?) mind realized the power of the #Sudarshankriya right after I got my “1^st Shot” at it and it became a part of my daily routine. My Teachers for the course were Dearest Bau and Dinesh Bhaiya..Their cool and relaxed approach to spirituality, not pressurizing us into believing any set Doctrine or ideology was a relief and also very inspiring. Most of my course mates (half of them are teachers now), started making plans to visit their “new home” @BangaloreAshram, almost as soon as the course was over. For me though, even the thought of it, was out of question. I had a very demanding job, and an over demanding and protective family, who would never agree that I visit an “ashram” to meet a “guru”??!!  In the many coming years, attending satsangs, volunteering for events, organizing courses and assisting some wonderful teachers became a part of me. I did not really realize how my Guru was slowly entering my life and making me HIS own through these amazing acts. As my involvement with AOL increased so did my Faith and Love for HIM.  Soon I did my first Advanced course with Guruji in Ahmedadbad and witnessed the vastness in DIVINITY in the Shivratri PUJA..i was lost..and found! I had found HIM and HE had found ME…still @BangaloreAshram?? no thoughts no ideas...out of question. Life became busy, took major turns, my Sadhna and faith in HIM sailed me through. There were times i questioned HIM and doubted HIM, when I felt left out and uncared for...but HE was ALWAYS within reach, it was me who would lose vision from time to time.

Eventually, since 2011, I started thinking about the Ashram, checking it out on social networking sites, following the webcasts, getting in contact with a few friends from the ashram. Curiosity and a silent desire had kicked in. I started discussing about ashram activities at home and often casually mentioned that I’d like to visit it one day, and thankfully no one objected...actual plans were still out of question.  I was still oblivious of the fact that my desire had been heard and plans were being made!! My time had come. .And soon dearest Gurudev walked his way into my life almost magically in May 2012 in the form of My Angel. A Friend from Bangalore Ashram, who motivated me and inspired me to come HOME. “You should come and visit your home and meet your Guru who has been waiting for you for so long.” His words were my true calling. Soon, things happened as gracefully and magically as HIM and I was on my way HOME! With fear, doubts, questions, curiosity, anxiety and panic as my companions, I set out to experience HIS grace yet again. The entire journey, from the moment I boarded the flight was like a huge “homecoming” celebration. Gurudev was making it sure I felt warm and welcome and loved each moment of this journey. From Co-passengers (who are friends till date), to the wonder play of the clouds during the flight, to the warmest reception at the ashram by dearest ones personally, by messages and phone calls, the amazing comfort of my room at Yagyashala, the breath of Grace and Gratitude every day, every moment that I spent in the ashram is beyond expression! How wonderfully HE conspired to meet me in person, just to fulfill a silly desire! What all HE does to make us Happy! Leaving the ashram after the wonderful Gurupuja Course with BhanuMa was Suicidal! Painful! As soon as I left the ashram, I was already planning my next visit and somehow, I was damn sure it will be very soon...and I was back at HOME in 2 months for CST part -1 with Dr. Bente. !!

Since these two visits Home, my life has changed. I am relaxed and positive, I sleep alone in my room :p!! My love and Faith in HIM has grown leaps and bounds and is growing with each breath, I am a wee bit more confident, I smile almost all the time, people love me a little more, and respect me a little more…my Sadhna has become effortless..i connect to HIM and my inner self even more easily now...and my longing for divinity is intensifying every moment!

Staying away from my Guru, my Home is like a Tapasya for me now. Longing for the Omnipresent is such a blessed feeling. HE is always with me, I reach HIM so easily and comfortably, but I still long for HIM,
HIS physical presence, His words of wisdom, HIS ever smiling aura, HIS deepest gaze, HIS laughs and naughty grins, HIS presence that is felt in the Ashram even when HE is away. I can just continue my “Taspasya” and count moments when I shall be with HIM again soon …At Home..To Stay..

Now I know why he kept me away so long.. My Home is an addiction, and perhaps now is the right time for me to get addicted??!! Perhaps, now I won’t have to wait too long….